A Guide For Christians Moving Home

Well, the Church Sofa family have moved home to what is now known as “Sofa Castle”, to celebrate we’ve put together this little collection of tips for moving home, or at least how a Christian should move home.

1. While looking around people’s homes, during the “house searching” phrase, ensure you leave Christian literature on their dining room table.
2. When looking for a house, ensure you find a place with enough space for a chapel.
3. It’s not unheard of for people to leave furniture behind when they move, as sometimes they don’t need it in their new home, or sometimes they just can’t fit it out the door. If you’re leaving a cupboard or anything with a drawer, it will always be nice for the new home owner to discover a copy of the Gideons Bible within it.
4. Don’t forget to leave your large cross behind on the wall. You can always build a new one.
5. Pass a letter on to your buyer, via your Christian solicitor, advising of how blessed you hope they’ll be in their new home.
6. Make sure anything alcohol related is covered up, this is to ensure you aren’t responsible for the faith of your removal men stumbling.
7. During your house move itself, ensure you take regular breaks for water, food, prayer, praise, and Bible readings.
8. Once you’ve moved home, ensure you drop Evangelistic leaflets down your road, or if you really want to “Move Like Jesus”, knock on all the doors in your new road and ask them if they want to go to Church with you next Sunday.
9. Has a neighbour just knocked on your door to introduce themselves? Ask if theres anything you can pray for?
10. Ensure you play a song like this really really loud, out the windows:

Obviously, dont forget to build that chapel.

Any more you suggest?

10 Excuses to Avoid Door Knocking for Jesus

At somepoint, your church may want to try its hand at Evangelism. This may well involve knocking on doors in the local area to ask the victim householder what they think about God. Whilst randomly knocking on peoples doors may sound like an odd exercise, some churches have found this is a highly successful way of winning souls for Christ.

If knocking on doors doesn’t sound like something you’re interested in, you may need an excuse for when someone comes and tries to get you involved. Here are our 10 Excuses to Avoid Door Knocking for Jesus:

1. “I actually hate all people. So therefore knocking on people’s doors, will just introduce me to more people I hate, and I’ve heard hate may be a bad thing. Personally, I quite like it.”
2. “I’m actually coming down with the Black Death.”
3. “Missing (what ever TV Show is on) will be bad enough, I can’t BELIEVE you’re asking me to stop other people from watching it.”
4. “I’m worried I’ll accidentally chat someone up. I thought ‘flirt to convert’ was bad?” *wink*
5. “I’ve broken my ankle. I couldn’t possibly sensibly walk the streets around here…” Proceed to walk away with out a problem.
6. “Multiple people have accused me of being overly friendly, I’m worried I’ll spend the whole evening trying to get the first person I see to love me”. Make sure you hug the person asking you before you leave. A big long hug – no Christian side hug or anything like that.
7. “Më vjen keq unë nuk e kuptoj anglisht”*
8. “I’m Sorry, I’m allergic to doors”.
9. “Sorry. That’s my pub night”.
10. “I don’t know my shifts for that week yet, but I’ll let you know when I do” Ensure you send your boss an email to make sure you are working that evening.

*From <https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=I’m+Sorry+I+don’t+understand+English+in+Albanian&spell=1>

Any more out there?

Evangelising When The Sun Is Out…

Welcome to The Summer!

The Summer – time of barbeques, paddling pools, and ice creams. Just like any part of the year, we shouldn’t miss a chance to evangelise and tell people about Jesus.

The question is. Are there ways to take advantage of the sun and the summer months to  evangelise the gospel?

Here are the Church Sofa ways to evangelise when the sun is out.

1. Don’t wear a top when you’re outside. Ensure your body is tattooed with Bible verses.
2. The days are warmer. The nights are warmer. Break out that acoustic guitar and sing out of tune songs to our father, around a fire!
3. Join a local running group, join in every week. Have fun. After a while offer to set up a web page for the running group. Arrange the web address to be MyBodyIsATemple.co.uk.
4. Give ice lollies out to people in your neighbourhood. Make sure the lolly sticks have Bible verses printed on them.
5. Set up a paddling pool out the front of your house. Explain that if people want to try it out, then they may accidentally be baptised at the same time.
6. Update your Facebook with as many Sun / Son references as much as possible.
7. Worship band practice. Windows open.
8. Put on a barbecue for the neighbourhood. Insist people listen to a Gospel presentation before they can have a burger.
9. Spend some time out in the garden / porch / balcony / front door step, playing some Christian music loud enough to be heard through open windows.
   I suggest…